Gratitude Journal Day #307: Saturday, 8/7/21

Gratitude Journal Day #307: Saturday, 8/7/21

*deep breathe* We’re SUPPOSED to be on that Self-care Saturday juice today. For me, that means getting a few things off my chest. *taps mic* Is this thing on?

Manta, Ecuador ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ. Poseidon Condominiums.

3.) Crying for Ecuador ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ – It happened again. Early mornings are when it hits the hardest. *sigh* I do not HAVE to be grateful about this crying stuff but I am. Grateful I can miss, see, FEEL a place so much it brings me to tears. Grateful those tears are my motivation, REMINDER, that this ain’t my final spot. I’m getting back to Ecuador, learning Spanish, teaching ESL, Zoom’ing yoga/meditation, participating in Ayahuasca Retreats, slanging books and paid to give Inspirational Talks to large groups.

2.) Kids got their 1st shot – I don’t want the kids back in school. I was worried about COVID-19 before the whole Delta-8 strain thing so I’m still tripping. Ya boi is shining, improving, BEING better and don’t take a single, prescription drug. I fear COVID-19 even though I took the vaccination. It’s NOT the pain (I KNOW it would be worse than neuritis, neurosis, MS hug, slipping discs, fucking up a herniated disc, all my DAILY shit.); nooooo, I am TERRIFIED it would be my excuse to fall and stay down. See, I don’t fear death. (related blog post: Quality vs. Quantity) I have a chronic illness that absolutely strips me of the basic ability to care for myself. I have accidents more and more but don’t tell anyone. That HURTS Dawg. I could cry now about those humiliating moments and I’m alone. Bedbound is real AF for me and I don’t want it. More than anything, I don’t want bedbound. ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ Kids in school definitely increases my odds of getting COVID-19 and I don’t see the point in fighting it to go to a bedbound lifestyle. *shrugs* I’m being honest as hell. I KNOW my Gratitude Journal would be a powerful tool, change my perspective, ducking negativity but naaaah. I don’t want that. So, I’m grateful the kids are getting vaccinations because it literally may stall or save my life of Gratitude despite…. Nevermind. ๐Ÿคœ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿค›๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‘

1.) Stomach getting better WITHOUT the scheduled vitamins – I haven’t been eating right. Every DAY, I am snacking on sweets, breakfast bars, chips. I have SOME of my “essential vitamins”, the ones I’ve tracked my results with and feel are most beneficial. I haven’t taken any. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ I’m NOT gonna get into why I’m not doing everything I can to care for me. Nope because my stomach is slowly starting to work again. #BOOM ๐Ÿ’ฅ I’ve been serious about water since our return and that is the game changer. Not just my stomach either, my skin is clearing up, less razor bumps, mouth, all that. The stomach though? ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ Now, when I shake this exhaustion & depression, take my vitamins, I bet I’ll REALLY improve my digestive issues.

Previous entry of Gratitude: Friday, 8/6/21

Next entry of Gratitude: Sunday, 8/8/21

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