Yooo!! We made IT. Conference Championships are here and 3 of 8 users have punched their ticket. It’s been a LONG season but the payoff is 2 games away.
AFC Championship: Ravens AT Raiders
The Ravens beat TF out of D. Watson to roll the Texans out of the divisional round. 6 TOs. SIX! 3 INTs and another 3 fumbles.
The Ravens head to another user game prepared with Gorilla Daddy League’s BEST defense. With Lamar Jackson doing what Lamar Jackson does, Coach Summers feels his defense and a solid running game will do the rest. “We can take our running game and defense ANYWHERE. I said that in the beginning of all this. I read a blog about a league with grown men and figured, ‘F it homie. I’ll give this thing a shot. It’s been real but I kinda knew early that some of the coaches weren’t developing their game. They were just scheming and scamming the CPU for cheese and points. WE bring the defense first. Ball control with the running game, keep things short and chains moving. It’s no secret and I’m standing on wings right now. We are ready for the Raiders.“
Coach Summers chose the rookie deep threat to open things up for Lamar Jackson. It paid off as the Ravens get that playoff monkey off their backs and prepare the league’s most diverse offense.
Coach Joffer has been silent most the season. His Raiders units are #2 in offense and field a top 10 defense. Throughout the season, he has careful to watch the numbers and load his team for longer runs. He traded veterans with hot streaks for draft picks. His rookie X-Factor WR, H. Ruggs, exploded after the trade of those veteran WRs and surpassed the 100 yard every game afterwards. Josh Jacobs gave every opponent body shots like a heavyweight boxer and intentionally used the clock to keep the veteran defense rested and ready.
NFL’s ‘Cinderella’ of the desert
The Cardinals finished the season 16-0, perfect, #1 offense, top 10 defense, #1 in sacks and all of that comes with a HUUUUUUUUUGE asterisks (*). They never played a user game. Not once. They were scheduled for the Eagles but that user quit after liiiiiike….. what….. ONE game? *beats chest and points to the sky* I hope you good bro. When you stepped out, you never came back and never responded to messages. The whole league sends you good energy and wishes you well.
Meanwhile, Coach Da’Boiya Beast is not apologizing. “The FUCK?! Yooo. I, me, my squad, my city, our fans AIN’T APOLOGIZING FO A GAAAAH DAMN THANG. We play who is on our schedule. We play to win. I have the responsibility of building a team centered around a running, playmaking, too small QB. We have played 9 different guys at starting O-line positions. Chandler Jones missed several games with broken ribs and playing hurt now. Hopkins was force fed, Larry Fitzgerald is a blocking WR, our RBs must miss guys miss and we’ve haven’t played our starting front seven for an entire game all season. I don’t want to hear shit about a user game. WE are here. WE ain’t leaving. WE are still learning each other and I guarantee this… WE will be back every year that I am here.” #DropsMic in usual, Mamba fashion and exits stage left.
Saints vs. Vikings…
The league anxiously awaits the winner of Saints at Vikings. Coach Brazao already warned that the game would have a restart because the Queen of his camp brought noise about gameplay. *shakes head* Daaaaawg. That is the most understandable excuse, rational, reason to ever give for a restart. Plus, it is playoffs sooooo….. the league is on hold.
Coach Brazao has shifted his offense over the season and been in playoff mode for a solid month. The mid-season decision to dump Cousins meant Stick was his starter for the remainder of the season and pressure of the trade was collecting heavy taxes. Once in the playoffs, Brazao is playing with house money. Nobody is expecting Stick to make the throws necessary for a Super bowl victory. When he plays anybody else, the advantage flips.to the Vikings. Imagine the blog post about whoever Stick and the underdog beat… YIKES to the Cardinals!
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