Gratitude Journal Day 80: Saturday, 12/19/2020

Why keep a Gratitude Journal at all? (This is the saaaaaame intro for every Gratitude Journal entry. It’s here for the newbies to the journey.)

I try to start everyday with a Grateful heart. *duck face* Potna, I ain’t lying. You can check my IG accounts Queen/King. I get a lil raunchy on the Multiple_Sclerosis_Outlaw but I’m calmer, gentle with allthingsonelove. On both, I start my day sharing Gratitudes, stories of Gratitude and anything related to being Grateful. I’m dead ass serious about my Gratitudes because it keeps me present and accountable for my own energy. I recognize and appreciate the actions, words and energy of others intending me good. By starting my day with Gratitude, I have less MS pain, MS symptoms and MS depression because I’m actively pushing my thoughts towards a positive direction of Gratitude. My relationships with others are stronger because my Grateful ass notices what others do for me, to me, WITH me. *bows* I could go on and on and on and on about the benefits of being purposefully grateful buuuuuut… *whispers* Pssst, you know I wrote about it…

link to How I Know Gratitude Works!

Why I chose THIS to start my day…

Aight, so, I’m bouncing back today. Yesterday was rough, MS hulled me out all day, all night, little sleep, woke up in pain BUT it’s better than yesterday. Nope, my legs are NOT recovered and back their normal, painful selves. Matter fact, I had a muscle spasm so ugly this morning that it took clean OUT the bed. *straight face* After that, I fell trying to get to the restroom. Fell loud enough that it woke my Queen BUT it’s better than yesterday. Neurosis is crushing my feet as we speak (Well, type. #YouGetIt). STILL, it’s better than yesterday. My plumbing is working so I can actually use the RR. I have ICE cold beer in fridge to offset the pain so there’s more. I’m NOT working so I can play video games, watch movies and just freaking chill. See, I don’t pretend like living without healthcare doesn’t come with risks, discomfort, fear of the unknown. Instead, I KNOW I can manage, deal with it as it comes. I’m building for the future with the time I have left and not trying to dwell on whatever is slowing me down. Yesterday, the pain came with dark thoughts and worries that maybe I’m doing something wrong. I’ve completely fallen off the wagon with my whole #nosugar, #nogluten, #noliquor lifestyle. (Diets are temporary. Lifestyle changes are permanent. MINE wasn’t but I’m not giving up!) All this is reflected in my recent struggles and I have a way out. I didn’t drink vodka yesterday and instead knocked off a 12-pack of craft beer. Is there a big difference in the way I feel? Vodka vs. beer? Maaaaaybe less overall shaking, a little more energy but I didn’t even get up till AFTER 7am so let’s start there. Grateful AF that I stayed in bed until late in the morning and gave my body time to prep for the day OFF. *winks*

3.) Met some new people at work. *proud* Maaaaaan, do I have a story for y’all ass! Okay, I’ve had issues and problems with the new gig for some weeks now. It’s all related to me having Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and the impact on my ability to do the job. *duck face* Dawg, I can do this damn job. Sure, I admit to being slower than others but I do have an incurable illness that affects my entire freaking body. Well, on Friday, the trainer tells some story about getting a man fired for “talking with too much slang”. It absolutely FLOORED me. He bragged to the class that is why we should be careful and make sure to pronounce and enunciate our words, people would be listening, reporting on us. Yoooo, it ticked me off because he’s doing this to a specific set of people. US. Black folks. He’s even in class telling US to pronounce and enunciate. He’s in class using slang, ebonics, phrases and the “hot vocab” of African American youth. It was a total croc of bullshit and show of power. I said something. I asked if he did the same to people who sounded too “country”, “yuppie” or strong Spanish accents. It’s a HUGE percentage of our class that struggle to read the common terminology of the job BUT nothing is said them, no corrections, nothing. That’s what made some new people reach out to me. They liked that I challenged the trainer on that bullshit. Nope, he didn’t answer but they liked my style. I needed the affirmation because of course, it didn’t take long for the overthinking to rain on my parade. I spent the rest of Friday waiting on the guy to fire me or something. I’m grateful to have made an impression and inspired some people to join my study group. I gotta feeling, serious AF, that I will need this study group more EVER. *opens spiral*

2.) Had an entire night of video gaming to myself! And my silly, tired tail passed out TWICE. *shakes head* Everything was perfect but I fell asleep. The Queen’s bestie slid through so that meant they would girl talk all night and I could game on the big, living room tv. I played a little Madden, got caught up with my league and jumped on Destiny. I was fired up to play with my brother, save humankind, all that good stuff. He was busy so I took a nap. I got up and played solo but barely. Did a bunch of dying, failed to finish the mission and didn’t get any upgraded gear. A taste of time BUT it was MY waste of time and it recharged me.

1.) My daughters LOVING their new REMOTE school, run by African Americans, on different continents! *mindblown* They started with time4learning.com. It was cool beans and as parents, we liked it. However, there’s liking something and being satisfied with something. We were NOT satisfied. We wanted more cultural learnings, more Black History history, Black perspectives, growth, just MORE in general. We have it now. WholelivingAcademy.com is blowing my daughters’ little minds and imagination to another level. How? Electives are stuff like wellness, meditation and African hair braiding. They’re discussing Black Lives Matter and the impact in THIS country. The classes are small so the girls feel like their voices matter, the teachers actually have time for them as individuals. Don’t worry, I gotta whole blog post coming to cover everything. *winks*

Link to the blog over homeschooling UNDER wholelivingacademy.com (blog available 9:04AM on Sunday, 12/20/2020)

Previous entry of Gratitude: Friday, 12/18/2020

Next entry of Gratitude: Sunday, 12/20/2020

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