Daaaaaaaaaaawg…. *eye rolls* People, it’s ya boi, dat reporter, King MUTHAFUGGA, live from the preseason camps of SuckaFree and… *drags on funny looking, herbal cigarette* it’s ALREADY drama and juices flowing. Users around the league are agitated and talking greasy over lil things. Most of the issues are quietly resolved but a few are getting louder as the INAUGURAL free agency period begins to heat up. Example, WHAT IS TAKING FREE AGENCY SO LONG?! *mindblown*
Okay. In the past, SuckaFree had maybe 7 or 8 users to start with. Remember, the original members have been rocking since NCAA 2011 had those online dynasties. The theory was simple, the BAD teams picked one FA first and it went on from there until the best team had picked. Once everyone had picked once, it was open season with free agency. If a good team wasn’t available to pick their ONE pick, it was cool beans. Among the original members (probably most of humanity), the trade-off of choosing a better team was that you didn’t need that ONE free agent. Your team was already good so just like in real life, you adapt and hit the next part, open season. After all, your team is already better than the bad teams and NOBODY has the perfect team to their chosen playstyle anyway. Like, honestly, *stops, drags on that square again* this whole push for the proverbial “have’s” to get ONE free agent before open season just like that the “have-not’s” is some of that millennial-gone-too-far stuff. Unleash the wolves! Open free agency! Start the damn season! Regardless of BAD or good teams, everybody is gonna play their own way with they have. Good teams have more sooooo….. *offers square to you* What you gon say when it gets loud again? “Good teams and strong teams need love too?” #ROTFLMAO!!!
Let’s dive into these first power rankings of SuckaFree. Now; of course, the rankings are based on previous years and take some the new gameplay aspects into effect. The general premise is that there are 4 tiers or levels of users in the SuckaFree league. Tier 1 are the “stick skill monsters”. *sad face* Nope, let me stop you right there. I consider myself an unbiased reporter of the highest degree so I do NOT give Levar Chase any type of credit, love, NOTHING. *shrugs* He gotta earn his stripes like everybody else. Tier 2 are the users with strong game but haven’t brought home a championship ring yet. I’ll just say it since I’m the reporter, “Stick skillers win a LOT based on the video game elements vs. the football knowledge elements.” That is why gamers around Madden are so excited for this edition. It’s real similar to last year but added more defensive tools which makes the OTHER gamers feel more confident. ANYway, Tier 2 users usually fall short with the stick skill part. They build these dominate teams, loyal AF to their chosen teams, watch YouTube videos, envision plays working like an Edge NFL matchup with Greg Cosell buuuuuuut…. never the biggest win. Tier 3 are basically everybody struggling to beat either users OR the CPU. What I mean is this, we usually have a few users that figure how to crush the AI and they build great looking squads but regularly lose to other users. Boys get to calling strange plays and it throws off Tier 3’s and leaves them claiming you cheated or something. That’s not part of the game. Tier 3’s also can be the dudes that basically use SuckaFree as some kind of personal “Madden tournament”. They don’t really build a squad, just grab some key players for their cheesy plays and talk shit when they beat another user. Against the computer tho? LOL! The CPU whooped their ass but they’re good with stick skills and beat users. Regardless, these guys are one-way players and sit in the underbelly of Tier 3. Tier 4? Ooooooo…. That’s for the newbies, unproven cats and obviously bad players. Obviously bad players are the ones that don’t beat the CPU or humans. As the franchise progresses, I’ll update the rankings and bring that REAL to the league like I do.
These are in NO particular order, just separated by Tiers. *winks*
Pickens proved himself last year by winning three consecutive SuckaFree titles before retiring early of boredom. Last year was his first year and by choosing the Colts, he is laying claim to new titles already. Don’t let nobody fool you either. The Colts have strong lines on BOTH sides of the trenches. A stable of RBs, WRs and TEs. Their defense is loaded as well but fitted for zone play instead of man. Think that will stop or slow down the PICKENS? Not this reporter. I witnessed the constant adjustments between user games so he starts at the top. After all, the dude retired, he didn’t fall off or anything. Run game, timely passing and wicked defense are his calling cards as he comes from the Bill Belicheck school of coaching.
Hawkeye is the ultimate “thinker” of SuckaFree. His squad is crazy strong (some say OVERrated but whatever) and although it doesn’t match his defensive style, it sho nuff blends with his offensive mindset. Dak is rolling out the pocket, WRs are well-versed in their routes and don’t let me get started with Zeke. On defense, Hawk will swear that his team ain’t ready because he ain’t got HIS technicians buuuut…. When I interviewed the coach he mentioned his frustration that I neglected to speak on his #SacsPicsRowGang *straight face* How can you possibly be that tired of your defense when you giving them name like that?! Hawk is another early retiree of Madden 20 and left with 3 rings, an attacking type of user and leans heavily on offense.
Kaso is is not here for development, building or non of that “get em ready” talk. He started with Cleveland in Madden 20, won a ring, fleeced TF outta Bball for Lamar Jackson and won 2 more. Kaso is the perfect stick skill user and his adjustment to Madden 21 will be interesting only because will he go hard with his patented coverage play or start jamming up the pass rush moves.
Won the LAST title of SuckaFree Madden 20 and already comes in banging, talking shit, demanding changes, calling others out and WRONG on damn near everything he brings up! Ant wanted to switch to the NFC North and box with the newbie, Westbrook, but league rules and peer pressure kept him with his Jets. He’s lucky. Rumors are that Levar Chase would have taken his Jets and turned them around just to spite him with a division missing users. Ant is an aspiring stick skill user that enjoys passing and trying to make highlight defense plays.
Mr. Stable. Bowman made it to the last Superbowl but lost to Ant Joh’s Jets. He is loyal to the 49ers like Ant Joh is to Gang Green.
When the top THREE users, Pickens, Hawkeye, Kaso, retired, most of the league kinda assumed that Rocket would get his first title. That didn’t happen because Bowman defeated him. A high pressure defense centered on his stick skills and run that absolutely showcases his running skills, the man keeps it simple. What WAS funny is that he wanted the Chiefs, ol’ Patty Mo, Lil Ty and Honey B. He was talked out of it by Pickens under the “if-you-good-don’t-use-the-BEST-team” argument. When someone else joined and claimed the Chiefs… I was rolling!!! I loved Pickens argument and Funky has used the saaaaaaaame psychology on others over the years but NOT this year. This year, somebody got the defending Superbowl winning, super team AND somebody got the best team. Bet they kept the coaches for the ultimate advantage in a league called SuckaFree. #whosnitching LOL!!!
48Bars ended Madden 20 in disgust. He was rolling on the high horse with the Rams, had the league’s best rushing attack, nice WRs, fast secondary that fit his scheme and don’t forget, ALL the Tier 1 users were retired so the league was wiiiiiiiiiide open for the last year. Everything was sooo bright for him until BOTH RBs suffered season-ending injuries in the last few weeks of the season! BOTH homie. *lights up again* The shit broke his momentum and he pretty much gave up, moved on to Madden 21 and scooped it immediately. It wasn’t like folks thought he quit SuckaFree forever buuuuut… DAMN. Tough way to end it. Wait… it is entirely possible that the last story refers to a BigPrin. Damn… it was a good ass story tho. 48Bars was the Steelers! Yeah, he fell to Ant Joh in the last AFC Championship but was living life with a 38yr Marcus Mariotta, rated like 68 or something. *slow head nod* #SaluteMyAssOff to the guy. He gotta be ready AF for Madden 21. Play with a real QB. Humph. Explains the decision to run with the freaking Buccaneers and OLD ass Brady.
Funky is what you call Hall of Fame at building teams. *pours brown liquor, no ice* Dawg. It’s why he bang on ANYBODY swag regardless of their championships or pedigree. In the commish mind, he tore some squad down to the bolts, built them into a 90+ squad, doesn’t cheeze and competes every Madden for rings. Doesn’t matter what somebody did, it doesn’t compare to that. LOL! (I try that stuff but usually keep a bunch of core players for the “storyline” in my mind.) Well, since the commish is starting with the Chargers, he’s gonna give it a run and compete from jump. No rebuild. No massive trades. No crazy, deep, Georgia Bulldawgs like roster of homegrown, players and key free agents. Yooo… this is gonna be interesting. Especially with the ULTIMATE team, Chiefs, in his division.
Bball. Boom. Anybody rocking with the Ravens is making a statement. You know the user must have a kinda funky, play style due to Lamar Jackson. (I tried on Madden 19 but gave up and traded him to another user.) Well, he’s back to give it another go after watching Kaso wreck shop for two rings.
Obviously, the guy is at the bottom because he didn’t beat any users last year. Yup, he developed a beast mode squad but that was it. Not a damn thing else. We’ll see if changing his name from Once_FutureKing to Levar_Chase changes his stars.
Tier 4 -> (this is a temporary position for newbies, unprovens and others)
The homie is back for Madden 21 after that hiatus. He has plenty to prove because Madden has changed quite a bit between 19 and 21. A bunch of the stuff is new for him and he prefers learning on the go. I’m telling you this, he’ll have his work cut out for him vs. division opponent Pickens. Flu prefers to go stick skill and not worry so much about player development. He famously drafted a FB in the 1st round in prove a point to his squad back on Madden 18. Yup, these same Texans. Stunts like that will seriously hurt his playoff chances now. It’s more users and things are just a tad bit busier.
The league was ready for the return of CaptainFlu and Cyco. Funky did his damnest to hold a spot in the AFC West for Cyco to be the Broncos but the homie ain’t coming. For THAT reason, the door was open and another veteran returns. Jaylyn took the Cowboys to a title waaaaaay back on…. wait…..hmmm…. maybe Madden 17? Even that comes with a story. He had a SUPERSTAR freaking MLB with like 92 speed, 25 years old, Jabrill Peppers. Another user drafted a SS, turned him into a Cover 2 MLB and developed TF out of the kid. Well, that user missed one week of free agency and lost his SUPERSTAR to Jaylin. The following year, Jaylin won his first SuckaFree and that user never recovered. That user… *sniff* WAS ME! LMMFAO!!!!! Jaylin brought Kaso, and a handful of other cousins to SuckaFree but only Kaso stuck around.
OAN: R/T tho. Really? Chiefs? Like you a real Chiefs fan? Guess we’ll see if he gets “busy chasing that paper like a REAL hustler.” LMAO!! It’s always funny when dudes have super teams but quit and give that excuse when the CPU tearing em up!
#newbie All anybody knows about this user is that I vouch for him. He is legit and ready to roll. Nope, I ain’t never played him either. I have NO idea to write except that. I vouch for him.
*reaches in for an ice, COLD, Karbach beer* Oooooooo… Another comeback kid. Before his suspension, he failed to proved a damn thing. Matter fact, it very much possible that the last HUMAN to lose to Levar Chase is THIS guy! LOL!!! What was he suspended for? He obliterated the commissioner wordplay and…. Now, he’s baaaaaaack.
That shit you call kief…
I’m in this thang to help ERRRRRYYBODY get better soooo…
Video on the new change of direction attribute. If you’re stick skill, speed user, you wanna check it out.
I KNOW y’all up on this buuuuuut… *shrugs*
If you don’t really understand how the abilities work. If you’re new to online franchise play.
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