The 10 dudes to avoid at college: A poem for MY daughter and other women about guys.

For YOUR information, the RED is the actual poem and my “breakdowns” are in black. The purpose of this particular piece is to pass along a heads up to my eldest daughter, who will be attending college this Fall semester. *winks* It is my experience that sometimes daughters’ ain’t studden their overprotective, worrisome fathers so I present advice in this format. Yup, it is THAT important.

#10 – Cake Ass Dudes

Ain’t a damn thing wrong with loving your gal

BUT the cake ass people ain’t shit

because they’ll put your friendship SECOND

to a an unproven nigga OR trick.

Let’s start with this type of guy because he is the dominant character at college. Cake ass dudes have NO loyalty and the lesson here is that. Watch out for folks lacking loyalty because they’ll leave you hanging.

#9 – Dick Riding Dudes

You’ll see but you already know,

the people trying so hard to be their homie,

surely it’s obvious why everybody call them phony.

“Me and my potna.”

“Me and my homie.”

Me and my nigga.”

Leave them cats alone until

they’ve grown

into a King,

NOT a nigga.

Look, these guys are childish. That is my point. They’re followers, copycats and lack maturity.

#8 – Hoe Ass Dudes

These the people that can’t watch T.V. without flipping the channels

OR fuck up your clothes EVERY time they handle them.

*rolls eyes*

Guuuuurl. I maybe come off a little strong with one but I mean well. Hoe ass dudes will upset your day, mood and energy with their antics and needs.

#7 – Bullshitting Ass Dudes

No one knows why they bullshit so much.

About what time they coming through…

About when they’ll scoop YOU up.

You’ll learn NOT to depend on them showing up.

Just keep your head up so you can change our plans.

Especially niggas PRETENDING

to be a grown ass man.

Bullshitting ass dudes are different from liars because bullshitters don’t really use YOUR name. That is the major difference so be careful with your time and participation.

#6 – Messy Ass Dudes

Ooooooo! Ain’t they trifling and worsome?

Lips like the pages of a phone book,

everybody name on ’em.

Who broke up with who.

What OTHER nigga got his gal on lock.

Gossiping like kids outside the beauty shop.

Sure, I could name some people and give you a legit example but what fun would that be? Run daughter. Please, OVERstand that your name and your legacy have begun. These dudes will wreck BOTH.

#5 – Fake Ass Dudes

You already know.

The muthafuggas that when you see them in public,

they think they shit on GLOW and putting on a SHOW.

These cats are saved,

born again virgins,

involved in 50 school organizations,

don’t smoke,

don’t drink

BUT you catch them on random nights,

showing their naked ass, so drunk they can’t see straight.

Authentic. Keep an eye on guys, girls, people and their intentions. Do your best to match actions and words.

#4 – Punk Ass Dudes

You will NEVER see them throw a blow or ball up a fist,

YET every time you turn around,

it’s somebody else they gon knock out.

They need to sit down before they get dismissed.

Don’t let these wack people get you caught up in fights, beef and anything else similar. Rocking and rolling with this type of guy almost cost me my last chance at Sam Houston State University!

#3 – Lying Ass Dudes

Everybody know they’re lying about aaaaall the girls they say they smashed.

Look, just let them lying ass niggaz keep talking.

Make a mental note of WHICH of your girls

look and laugh WITH the ass.

Okay, it feels like liars made the list in a couple different categories/types. They have. It reads like each is worse than the previous. They are but these plain, regular ol’ liars are the worst because they will purposely include YOUR name.

#2 – Bitch Mouth Ass Dudes

You’ll piss somebody off

but when the people that USED to be cool beans

and spoke all the time,

can’t speak when you say “S’up”

because they pledged and now OFF-line?

Fuck them.

Don’t speak at all any more and keep your name

OUT their Bitch Mouth

if they don’t mind.

Admittedly, I don’t know how girls, sororities, pledging and new attitudes work but with guys… *whistles* Guys straight remake themselves once they pledge and even before as they jock and jostle to impress the fraternity members at YOUR expense.

#1 – Broke Ass Dudes

They will borrow a few dollars and say,

“Preciate it dawg. You know I’ll hit you back on the 1st

or with my refund check.”

THEN, they duck and dodge your ass.

When you finally see them, before you can even speak,

“Man, my refund didn’t come yet

AND I got all these bills to worry bout next.”

Family, friends, potnas, homies, all of them are in this boat. DO NOT loan money BABY GIRL. If you got it, and don’t need it back, go for it. Help others but do NOT loan what YOU need.

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