Yup to the amen. It is past time to CENTER my life. It’s not like the sky is falling but things aren’t as right as they could be. Living with MS keeps a loud countdown ticking in my head. I have sooooooo many things that I want to do while acutely aware that my bottom half is rotting. Eeewwww! ROTTING DAWG? Yeah homie, rotting. It’s obvious that my movement is getting worse. I require a walker to get around my own house. Yeah homie, even to the bathroom. 🙄😣 The clock is ticking. Bills, two new jobs (fired from both), relapses, family responsibilities, health accountability and somewhere I’m supposed to prioritize my mental state… #Whatever, time to reset and center myself.
It’s significant that my last blog covered the Gratitude Challenge. That blog was August 12, 2018. Wow. Whoa. Yikes. What happened Mr. Positive AF? Mr. Keep-Yourself-First? 8 whole months of ZERO writings? Life got to the lil homie. Like, I literally just told you, bills, jobs, fired, blah blah blah. Along the way, I connected with my brother and moved forward with a nonprofit organization idea. I kicked off an independent website and newsletter to market myself as an agent. Another brother volunteered to tutor with me on some contracts. My wife has been encouraging me to just write, “Babe, just write. You know you want to. I know you’ll be successful”. I’ve been busy but that’s no excuse. I’ve neglected GAP chasing nightmares of full-time employment and in the end, I learned some valuable lessons. Vaaaaluaaable than a mutha y’all and upon evaluation, I require a thorough centering. I spent 8 months last year teaching myself GAP, to show Gratitude, find Attitude and chase Passion. It was awesome; life swung hard right. I got a job and felt wonderful catching up on shit. I didn’t realize I was sacrificing my fledgling philosophy and mantra. Those 40+hrs at an office gig with my health issues led to rapid relapses, brain fogs, tremors, neuropathy, crying. *sigh* In a way, it’s my interpretation of religious folks talking about losing touch with their God(s). I built up this GAP stuff and when I unknowingly abandoned its principles, well… Life went wrong, fired and subsequent so-in-sos. Time to center myself.
How will I center myself? OMG! *blushing” Thanks for asking! 😜I’m going back to my GAP roots:
1.) Writing what I’m grateful for (Gratitude)
— For some, praying works. For me, it works best when I write what I’m grateful for. Blogs, mirrors, vlogs, journals, anything, everything but maaaaaaaaan, I need to write. Look, I’m sick AF but positive than a muthafugga. There’s not enough time in the day to list what IS good around me. Eff multiple sclerosis, I have an amazing squad. My family comes out the woodworks to remind me, lil ol Kenny Ken, that they got me. My wife and I vibe on a such level… Writing this, documenting and storing the positive energy of what I’m grateful for is orgasmic. All it takes is to recognize it.
2.) Post an affirmation/positive meme (Attitude)
— I have an ugly habit of posting something fly and positive in the AM but skipping the Gratitude part. Not cool and when I think about it, inauthentic. I’m kinda pretending to be happy without working to be happy. That is some bullshit on my end. So now, posting my Attitude for the world to rock comes second on the priority list. My Attitude will reflect what I’m grateful for. The key here is authenticity, being real, keeping it 💯.
3.) Help people (Passion)
— I absolutely, unequivocally, love helping people. I love interacting with people, talking, chopping, bouncing ideas back and forth, EVERYTHANG mane! Where I go wrong is confusing earning money with successfully helping folks. 🤐 Bills and relationships care not for my tales of sloshing through the hardships of others, guiding them to slay their demons, if I ain’t made nan dollar. 🤐 True story! Money get tight, I go bananas pushing insurance, apartments, real estate and the like. I need to help people. Period. Point blank. That means sharing my life, providing information and content that people find relevant.
— #NuffSaid right? #Obvious? By meditating, you’re slowing down and clearing your thoughts. I definitely need to meditate. Clean ALL my stuff on a daily basis and fill it with the energy from expressing GAP. I’ll be using the 6-3-9 method. 😉
I am NOT starting over. I’ve come way far with my thinking. I simply need fine tuning so with that being said, next blog will begin a 7-Day GAP Challenge. That’s how I get centered people, gratitude, attitude, passion. Do it right; life is right.