The following is my findings on life WITHOUT cannabis in Feb. 2018. I tried again Feb. 2020 and stopped on day 3 because my energy levels were too low. Gratitudes, yoga, my routine kept my emotions and relationships in check but it was painfully obvious that a prolonged period would affect me negatively! 😑🖤💪🏾🙏🏾
Yo! IT WAS NOT WORTH IT!
So, you’re aware that I, like many #MSWarriors, avoid medicine. Look, long story short, medications doubled my lesions in the first 3 months and I bounced to marijuana, Pescatarian diet and a positive lifestyle change. I do quite well, lost weight, more energy, etc. You know all this!
The experiment began with, “Can I do this WITHOUT the cannabis?” In retrospect, I had no business conducting such a frivolous experiment. Shoot, really, the question itself was ridiculous based on a previous attempt to work my personal routine of self-care and MS management without alcohol. Yup, I drink too. (Please, don’t start. I’ve addressed this habit in 2017 blogs.) Back to the experiment at hand, no cannabis. It took all of 2 days to realize; YO, IT WAS NOT WORTH IT! What happened?
1.) My energy levels immediately plummeted. Initially, I blamed the shock of mornings without a sativa blend, the “upper” of marijuana. I called it my withdrawal symptoms. I figured it’d take a few days to settle in so I wasn’t worried. After a week, my energy was even lower. I drifted throughout the seven days alternating between tired, exhausted and fatigued. Tired means you’re moving, ran out of energy and need a break. Exhausted is moving and now you can’t even start again. Fatigued is being unable to even start an activity. This was one week without cannabis. Week two, (I dunno. Guess I enjoy torturing myself and sharing.) was exhaustion or fatigue. That ended the experiment because the low energy affected my ability to work.
2.) My relationships and perspectives drastically turned negative. I didn’t even notice until week two but… It was bad. I will not share the intimate confessions of those closest but… It was bad. Week two, I caught myself tearing up and alone in my office. I consider myself a Gorilla Daddy of the highest order so just typing that is a struggle. Nevertheless, tear up I would and sometimes a sniffle accompanied said tear up. I was NOT crying! Just tearing up. Constantly, I over thought my symptoms and my focus declined. I would get lost on social media, posting memes and images of being alone or needing no one. If you know me, that’s not how I rock and roll. I’m the cheery, optimistic, we gon be alright guy. I post cheesy memes of love, never surrender and remain persistant. According to family testimonials, I was collapsing by week one but it was assumed I was relapsing.
3. Finally, pain management. YO! IT WAS NOT WORTH IT. Ladies and gentlemen of the invisible illnesses, I repeat, it’s not worth it. I’ve given cannabis credit for my general mental well-being and higher energy levels. Stripped of its magnificence, I was suddenly and terrifyingly aware of pain. #MSWarriors are warriors because we battle through pain every day, all day. Off cannabis, the little pains were not so little anymore. I’d forgotten the dependable throbbing of Spondylosis slowly dancing across my herniated and bulging discs. Sober, the Ulcerative Colitis announced itself with rampant bouts of diarrhea, constipation and losses of appetite. (I lost 5lbs in those two weeks). Maaaan, I was struggling by the 2nd day. My MS commonly manifests through nerve pain in my feet, lack of mental focus and piss poor balance. Cannabis has never addressed these symptoms or so I thought. That 2nd day of awareness forced re-evaluation of the standard hypothesis. I was F’ed up, everything I mentioned plus aches in the knees, cricks in the neck and these crazy painful tremors masquerading as whole body chills. I can keep going but you get it. My pain management was non-existent.
My Mother used to say that if you go without something long enough, you recognize it’s unnecessary or appreciate its worth. All things considered, marijuana carries a priceless tag for individuals that base their health on it’s healing prowess.